CHANGE

I have not blogged for a month now. I guess I feel not much has happened during the quiet month of January. Although, for me personally there was something that my thoughts keep turning to, change. I have decided I don't like change. I understand that you are suppose to grow from those experiences that allow you to have change. And don't get me wrong not all change is bad.

But I don't like the idea of my parents someday no longer being with me on this earth and I don't like death. I hate the thought that someday my babies will be grown and gone. When I think of that I get scared and cry. To give you an example of how badly I don't like change, Sadie has been sleeping in our bedroom with us since birth. She basically sleeps through the night and doesn't need me. But I needed her because I didn't want to admit that time had gone by so fast. So you would be proud of me. After 8 months she now is sleeping in her own room. I only cried the first night and my husband knew this was a big step for me and stayed up to comfort me. I understand everything has a purpose but I don't have to always like it. But if you really know me, you will know I haven't always dealt with change that well. I don't like that I can't control the things that are altered because of change and lets all admit I am a little bit of a control freak.

I did a lot of reflection this past month. I decided I need to enjoy the ride while I am going along for the journey, I need to relax and let things go more. I don't like setting New Year's resolutions/goals. I feel it is too much pressure to put on yourself and life is already hard enough. But as the month progressed I feel I need to perhaps give myself goals. Starting them now and hopefully it is something that becomes a way of life. I want to ENJOY and be more patient with my children. My children are my world, we all as parents sacrifice so much for these little ones. I don't want to ever feel I took advantage of having my children. I realize and know that they are true blessing given to me from God. Also, new this year I want to tell my family that I love them more. I want to tell them every time I hung up the phone or I leave their presence, etc. There are so many people that you love but never say it out loud because you may feel embarrassed. But I don't want to ever look back on my life and have regrets. I am realizing life is so short. I need to tell my extended family that I love and care for them more often. So here you go I need to tell my mother-in-law that I love and admire her. I also want to tell my sister-in-law Cassee that I love her and love that she makes my brother so happy.

I don't know what caused me to have these several thoughts of change, family and love. But I hope you have a quiet moment to yourself to reflect and perhaps you to can start doing the things that are important to you in your life.